Here I Am: 2016

Since creating this blog five years ago, I started a habit of writing reflective pieces on New Years Eve. It lets me gather my thoughts and reflect on my achievements. It also allowed me cherish the better things in my life.

This year was the exception, where I wanted to unwind from a stressful six-day week at work and enjoy the company of my family. I’m here to make up for it now.

In a nutshell, 2016 was a momentous year in my life.

This was the year where this blog reached full circle. I started TWINS as a means to pacify my irrational fears through writing. As a teenager, I was haunted by the uncertainty the future held. I was never the type to have strong aspirations and my interests were always changing.

I believed things would be clearer by the time I completed my tertiary studies. Well, October 2016 was the big moment I graduated from my undergraduate course.

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On that overcast day, I wore my black UNIQLO dress from Japan and had my hair in loose waves. I was seated in the very front row along with the friends I made during my course. This was the culmination of four and a half years of work, sweat and tears. After the ceremony, we celebrated at Nishikian.

With some consideration and well-sounded advice, I accepted a full-time position at my current workplace immediately after finishing my exams in July. By October, I had already been working for three months.

I admit this was not a part of the plan. Then again, I never had a plan – or at least one that I stuck with. It was only supposed to be a temporary measure so I could save and travel abroad to soul search.

Honestly speaking, I still don’t know what I’m doing with my life and I don’t think I’m the only one. Perhaps the decision I made was the most convenient one. Whatever it is, I am currently content.

After the notions of 2016, I feel a little braver; I feel like I can take on whatever the world throws at me.

Resolution-wise? I only have one: to take life by the horns. 

That time of the year

Christmas is days away but I’m not feeling very festive. Things have really picked up at work this month. My floor manager was transferred to another branch and as a result management reshuffled staff between floors – myself included. I’m a firm believer that change is good but I couldn’t help feeling somber when the day came.

It’s been two weeks since I moved. It’s been a steep learning curve and I really struggled initially. Everything was so overwhelming compared to what I was used to. Now I have bigger responsibilities and manage an even larger team. I was so stressed I would dry-heave, although that has stopped. My colleagues have also commented on recent my weight-loss. I do not feel any resentment against management for moving me. I understand that this was necessary and the overall experience has assisted in my personal development.

The only thing I really miss is my old team. They were the people I worked with since relocating to the new site.

What happened

There’s always a risk of embarrassing yourself whenever you publicly announce you will do something and don’t follow through. For example, when you tell all three of your readers about wanting to participate in an international program to teach English abroad. Instead, you decide that Melbourne is your home and you would much prefer life here.

If it isn’t obvious already, I’m talking about myself and my announcement earlier this year. I never bothered explaining it until now.

Friends and acquittances have heard on multiple occasions about my desire to relocate to Japan. There’s still a large part of me that longs to be there but the odds are not favourable right now. The challenges of living alone abroad in a foreign country alone is difficult enough, let alone hoping that a teaching role would eventually lead to a more relevant field of work.

Another reason I decided against this initial decision is because of recent developments at work. There is currently a position available that is more aligned with my business background. Furthermore, it is a global company so it is reasonable to assume there is greater opportunities to move up. With our headquarters in Japan, it is also quite possible I will be able to travel there for work. This also begs the question “why Japan?” but I will save the answer for another update.

In the mean time, I have chosen to build my career with this company here in Australia. I work directly with a diverse group of interesting individuals and apply my skills in a practical way. It’s a fast-paced environment and makes the day go faster. Obviously there are many challenges involved, as evident in my previous updates, but that’s the same with any job.

Even if one day you find yourself self-employed or the boss of a large corporation, there will always be some kind of hurdle ahead. I believe the key to overcoming those difficulties is to maintain a positive mentality, remembering your priorities in life and finding contentment.

Right now that is how I feel, content.